Friday, January 23, 2009

Explanation

For the last nine years or so I have either been pregnant or nursing a baby, sometimes both. Those years are a bit blurry. Do I regret those years and that blurriness? Definitely not! However, now that Noah is 13 months old and he and I are starting to minimize nursing, I feel like I am coming out of a fog. I’m not all the way out, but my brain is waking up and wanting more exercise. And I find myself asking “Who am I now?” I know that I am a daughter of Heavenly Father. I very firmly believe this. As such I am a valued and special person with wonderful talents and attributes unique to me. The problem is that I’m not really sure what they are. I want to find out and enhance them and make them grow. I also know that as a child of God I have certain responsibilities. One is being a wife, one a mother. One is keeping the covenants I have made with my Heavenly Father. I want to work at these and other responsibilities.

Basically, I want to improve myself. Do I think that I’m a terrible person, wife, and mother? No. I have been too loved by too many people for too long to possibly think that. One of those people is my amazing husband who is super smart and who also tells me every day that he loves me and thinks I’m beautiful and couldn’t ever find a better wife than me. Do I get discouraged? Yes! Is life hard and I wish it wasn’t quite so hard? Yes. Am I grateful for this life? Very.

So, this blog is where I want to document my life and my efforts to improve it. Kind of like a journal. It is also where I want to have some fun. I really, really, really like to blog! I’m not sure what it is about it, but I really enjoy it. And there are lots of neat things, like Project Improv, that I would like to participate in. This will be my place to do that.

Here comes another question. Do I have time for all of this? Probably not. Time management is one of those areas I need to work on. But I am learning that I have to fill my own cup before I can fill the cup of anyone else. I can’t teach things to my children if I don’t learn them first. I can’t expect them to keep their room clean if I can’t keep mine clean. I can’t help them feel the Spirit if I am not feeling the Spirit. If I can be a better me, I think I’ll be a better wife and mom. And so this blog is about me. My adventures and pursuits. I hope that doesn’t sound selfish. I want to document what I do so that I won't forget what I learn and where I have been in my life. This blog will be a work in progress. It will change and evolve and adapt. Just like me.

6 comments:

Heidi said...

Wow Aimee, I love your blog!!! You are so good with words. You inspire me. I am so glad that you and I are so close. I really do look up to you so much. I am so glad that we have these new blogs and will be able to know some of each others thoughts and what is going on with one another. I love you lots and I hope to be as crafty as you some day. That is what we should do when James and Kev go hunting. I am so excited!!!!!

nanajohanna said...

I was just thinking this morning about how much I enjoy the blogs, my own and all the others. I'm so greatful that we have such ease of communication. And I think it's good for us too. In Mary's recent post she kind of apoligized for complaining, but I think it's good to be able to vent in writing, get it out and then move on. I wish I'd had something like that when I was in your and her situations. Love you!!! Mom

Anonymous said...

Hi Chica,

Its funny, but I have been pursuing the same ideals these past few months. Who am I now? What do I care about and want to accomplish? I call it my personal rennaissance.:)It's always fun to hear about your family and all they are doing, but I have to admit I've always wanted to get more into the "You" topics and thoughts. This is going to be so great! I love that you are doing this.

I love you,
Autumn

Jim said...

Imagine! A perfect Humphries girl wanting to improve herself! Next we'll be hearing about a Rolls Royce engine that won't run.

Love,

Uncle Jim

Ice Cream said...

I did this same thing after my 4th turned 18 months. It was wonderful. Then we decided to have another baby and I fell back into the bluriness. Now I'm trying to reclaim myself again, though slowly with a little baby on my hip. What a great idea for a blog.

Sea Star said...

Blogs really are a great outlet for us Moms. We get to share a bit of ourselves and meet others going through a lot of the same things. We are all trying to improve and evolve. It is always fun to see the journey.