Tuesday, February 21, 2017


I can hear it raining right now.  Such a nice sound.  Nice because I'm safe and dry in my house.  No leaky roof or flooding basement.  A fire to keep me warm.  Such basic, but really amazing blessings.  And it's a comforting sound.  During the night I woke up from a strange dream, heard the rain, and was able to focus on that and not the disturbing scenes of my dream.

On Saturday I went running in the rain.  I almost went to the gym to run on the treadmill instead, but I didn't.  And I'm so glad I got to run in the rain.  It was actually very enjoyable and gave me a bit of a boost.  How funny that rain can be soothing in one instance and energizing in another. 

I'm not saying I would love to live in Seattle, because I do really love seeing the sun after several cloudy days, but I am saying that I do like rain.  I think it is an amazing gift.

Monday, February 20, 2017

Then and Now

Last night I got out an old journal and read through the first 7 years of our marriage.  I didn't write a whole lot during that time so it didn't take all that long.  I think I spent about an hour reading it.  As my kids are getting closer to leaving home, I sometimes find myself wishing I could go back to the time when they were little.  I often think life was much simpler then and I would like for life to be that way again.  But after reading my journal, I've realized that I really don't.  I really like life now.  I like having big kids.  I like little kids too, but it was stressful.  And very tiring.  I only wrote a little bit about the time after Naomi was born.  But it was very hard.  I really don't want to go back to that. 

I'm so thankful that life carries on.  That we get to keep progressing with it.  And I'm thankful that I don't look back on those years and automatically think they were terrible.  I'm glad my first reaction is to remember the sweet and simple times. 

Friday, February 17, 2017


Yesterday I kind of rediscovered Harry Connick Jr.  I have loved his music for a long time.  Ever since I was in Jr. High and Jane started listening to him.  I even got to go to his concert not long after we moved to Denver, in 1994, at Fiddler's Green. 

This last fall, Harry started hosting a talk show.  I haven't ever seen a full episode, but have seen a few clips and really enjoyed them.  A couple clips in particular have really impressed me and they both involved Harry and his wife, Jill.  They were cooking together in one, and Harry sang a song he wrote for her in the second.  She was there in the audience and he sang the last part of the song kneeling in front of her gazing romantically into her eyes.  I know he is an actor and a crooner and it could easily have been just part of the show, but I really loved the way he talked about her too. 

So I looked up the song, One Fine Thing, which is from his Every Man Should Know album.  I listened to the whole album and loved it!  I think I'll listen to it again today.

Thursday, February 16, 2017


I went to bed too late last night so now I'm tired.  I just spent the last 30 minutes un-liking pages on facebook, hoping to clear out that space.  Maybe it could be a little more meaningful than it has been.  And maybe I can spend a lot less time there.  That's my plan!  And maybe tonight I can go to bed at a reasonable time.  Now on to a happy day.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

All Together

Last night was another one of those crazy nights that I keep scheduling, and then get into the middle of it and wonder if life wouldn't be nicer for all of us if we didn't have so much going on.  James and I were both away from home watching two different kids in their different activities on opposite ends of town.  The three oldest were left at home to finish making the dinner I started, get it on the table and clean up afterwards, all while keeping Spencer occupied and getting homework done.  There was quite a bit of fighting.  When I walked in the door, James had been home for about two minutes and was heading back out the door with another child.  There were some hurt and tender feelings at home that needed attention, more people eating dinner, and still more cleaning up from dinner.  And the house was a mess, which really didn't help anything.

We finally all came together just before 8pm for family prayer.  As I knelt there listening to Spencer pray, I was suddenly struck by what a precious moment this was.  We were all together, praying.  My mom heart was full of love and gratitude for each amazing member of my family.  A few minutes later, Annie briefly expressed her sorrow at realizing how very quickly Stephen will be leaving our home.  He is a junior in high school.  And I don't think she realizes it yet, but she will be right behind him!  I try not to focus on that too much, but I really started thinking about how much I need to treasure and appreciate every moment we have together.  They mean the world to me! I should act like it.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

El Mamo

Most of the time, my kids call me "Mom".  Spencer will occasionally call me "Mommy" and he and Noah will sometimes call me "Mama", which I love.  Annie started calling me "Mother" last fall.  I'm not sure why, and it actually kind of bugged me at first, because I've never been a fan of the term mother.  In my mind it seemed kind of cold and distanced.  But the longer Annie has used it, the more I have come to like it.  She doesn't mean it or use it in a cold way, but in a "Mom, I need you, I love you" kind of way.  So it's ok.  Stephen calls me "Mom" when he's right there with me, talking to me.  But when he is looking for me, or needing me for something, he calls me "El Mamo" and I love it. 

Spencer and I had a little conversation the other day which he started by saying, "Your name is Mom, but only your kids can call you Mom.  What can other people's kids call you?" 

Monday, February 13, 2017


Spencer received a Lego Creator set for Christmas.  It came with instructions for building a jeep, a boat, and a helicopter.  He is really too young to put them together by himself, so I have built these three things with him.  And I discovered that I really liked it!  It was like a puzzle to me.  Sort of.  A puzzle with detailed instructions of every step.  So not quite the same thing, but it gave me the same sort of satisfaction.  James and I were talking about Spencer's legos the other day and he mentioned that he had tried to help Spencer put the jeep together on Christmas day, but had quickly lost interest.  He would much rather have had our tub of random lego pieces to work with and be able to come up with his own design.  He is definitely an engineer.  I am definitely not.  I do not know what to do with random legos and don't like trying to come up with something. 

Spencer likes doing both things!  He likes following the instructions and watching the legos turn into what they are supposed to turn into.  "It's starting to look like a jeep!"  But he also really enjoys making his own space ships and cars and people even, and is quite creative.  He gets a little frustrated with his limitations sometimes.  He wanted to draw a particular picture that he had in mind yesterday, but couldn't get it to come out right, and was pretty upset.  Legos are a better medium for him right now, but he has ideas; things he wants to create.  I wonder what he will be?