Cocoa's question for this week's Wordfull Wednesday is "What are the three most important things to you in marriage?"
I thought of my three real quick. Forgiveness, Kindness, and Friendship.
1) Forgiveness - It has to be sincere and quick. And it needs to happen often. I call my husband Mr. Wonderful, but he is not perfect and neither am I. We both make mistakes, forget things, make messes, or do things that frustrate the other. Sometimes it is harder to forgive than at other times. When it is harder, I get on my knees and pray for help. And I get it. My anger goes away, I remember how dearly I love Mr. Wonderful, and I am able to forgive and forget. Quite often I end up loving him even more.
2) Kindness - This shows up in so many different ways. One way for us to show kindness is to have a good attitude about taking care of our family and fulfilling our responsibilities as a husband and wife. Another way is in the way we speak, the words we choose, our tone of voice, and even the thoughts we have. There are also many, many extra little ways to show kindness. I love it when Mr. Wonderful chooses to watch a movie that he doesn't particularly enjoy, but he knows that I really like. Or when he puts his warm feet on my freezing cold feet. Or when he tells the kids that he loves me and thinks I'm the most beautiful woman on earth. I know what he appreciates too. Chocolate chip cookies (made with real butter), extra long kisses, and quick phone calls or emails while he is at work, just to tell him I love him. None of these things take huge effort, but they add so much to our marriage.
3) Friendship - Again, this is something that takes effort sometimes, and has lots of different aspects to it. Mr. Wonderful and I don't really have a lot in common in terms of hobbies and activities that we enjoy. He loves the outdoors and engineering electronic devices. I love sewing and shopping at thrift stores. We do enjoy reading together, although it is hard to choose a book sometimes. And we love walking together. Every date we go on includes a walk, and has since long before we were married. The important thing is that we spend time together. Communication is a big part of our friendship as well. As we have worked at spending time together and really talking/listening to each other we enjoy each other more and more all the time.
I asked Mr. Wonderful what he thought are the three most important things in marriage. He said, "Forgiveness, service, and rosy cheeks and beautiful eyes." He sure is Wonderful!